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Kirjoittaja
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Mikserin oma Big Brother
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#1 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 19:56
Big Brother!
Day 1 - Veneficus admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Souladelic. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, DestinyToBeMe is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Pastori later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Tonkku creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Tinu hits him with a knife.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Lasitalo out of lasagna. After much persuasion by Tonkku, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Lasitalo task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Pastori, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the lasagna. Tinu is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Lasitalo task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Pastori farts and blows Lasitalo over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Souladelic cries.
6 - Tonkku gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Souladelic admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a knife. Veneficus says he never wears condoms because they make his scrotum sore and Tonkku agrees. DestinyToBeMe goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Pastori sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Tonkku.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Veneficus goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Tinu and Souladelic are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Veneficus.
9 - Tinu and Souladelic are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. DestinyToBeMe sings them a song - C4 - San Diego - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Souladelic out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Souladelic leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Souladelic's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. DestinyToBeMe has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Tinu is visibly depressed and is comforted by Tonkku, who tries to touch her on her vulva.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Tonkku touching Tinu's vulva over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Pastori refuses to run because his scrotum hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Pastori finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Tinu calls Pastori a lazy scrotum.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Veneficus tells everyone individually that he thinks Tinu is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Tinu and Tonkku are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Veneficus.
16 - The nominations are announced. Tinu can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Tonkku is equally stunned and turns to Tinu for comfort. Pastori is distraught and confesses to DestinyToBeMe that he thinks he is in love with Tonkku. DestinyToBeMe says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Tonkku out of the house. Tinu says she is gutted and even gives Tonkku a clipping of hair from her vulva to prove how much she cares. Pastori is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Tonkku leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Tinu clipping the hair from her vulva. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Turkmenistan in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Turkmenistan sounds like but Pastori says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Veneficus as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Veneficus successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Turkmenistan but also God Save The Queen, C4 - San Diego and the theme tune to Sex-TV. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Veneficus tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Pastori and DestinyToBeMe are nominated.
23 - Pastori and DestinyToBeMe take their nominations well and sit down with Veneficus and Tinu to discuss why they voted for them. Veneficus keeps quiet but Tinu accuses Pastori of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred scrotum before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote DestinyToBeMe out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. DestinyToBeMe leaves.
25 - Veneficus becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Veneficus's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of moose dung using only a knife. Veneficus is unsure but Pastori is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Pastori breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the moose incident from his childhood. Tinu tries to persuade him to stay but Veneficus sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Pastori decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the moose dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Tinu from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Veneficus asks Tinu to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Veneficus nominates Tinu to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Tinu.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Tinu graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Veneficus is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Veneficus takes his £70,000 and runs away to Turkmenistan. Nobody, including Tinu, ever sees him again.
Täällä voit tehdä oman Big Brotherisi
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KoBa
3919 viestiä
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#2 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:01
Tuota sentään kestäisi katsoakin.
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#3 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:36
Day 1 - BVR admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Olio. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Dew is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Kalaforn later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. JM creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. DestinyToBeMe hits him with a Handmixer.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Ämmänsaaren Vesitorni out of makaroonilaatikko. After much persuasion by JM, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Ämmänsaaren Vesitorni task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Kalaforn, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the makaroonilaatikko. DestinyToBeMe is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Ämmänsaaren Vesitorni task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Kalaforn farts and blows Ämmänsaaren Vesitorni over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Olio cries.
6 - JM gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Olio admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Handmixer. BVR says he never wears condoms because they make his chest sore and JM agrees. Dew goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Kalaforn sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up JM.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. BVR goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. DestinyToBeMe and Olio are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for BVR.
9 - DestinyToBeMe and Olio are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Dew sings them a song - Oluesta Iloinen - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Olio out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Olio leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Olio's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Dew has to make do without the cucumber she requested. DestinyToBeMe is visibly depressed and is comforted by JM, who tries to touch her on her ankle.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of JM touching DestinyToBeMe's ankle over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Kalaforn refuses to run because his chest hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Kalaforn finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. DestinyToBeMe calls Kalaforn a lazy chest.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. BVR tells everyone individually that he thinks DestinyToBeMe is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. DestinyToBeMe and JM are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for BVR.
16 - The nominations are announced. DestinyToBeMe can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. JM is equally stunned and turns to DestinyToBeMe for comfort. Kalaforn is distraught and confesses to Dew that he thinks he is in love with JM. Dew says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote JM out of the house. DestinyToBeMe says she is gutted and even gives JM a clipping of hair from her ankle to prove how much she cares. Kalaforn is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. JM leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of DestinyToBeMe clipping the hair from her ankle. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Lesotho in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Lesotho sounds like but Kalaforn says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose BVR as the one who must complete the task.
21 - BVR successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Lesotho but also God Save The Queen, Oluesta Iloinen and the theme tune to Kello Yhdeksän uutiset. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and BVR tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Kalaforn and Dew are nominated.
23 - Kalaforn and Dew take their nominations well and sit down with BVR and DestinyToBeMe to discuss why they voted for them. BVR keeps quiet but DestinyToBeMe accuses Kalaforn of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred chest before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Dew out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Dew leaves.
25 - BVR becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of BVR's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Susi dung using only a Handmixer. BVR is unsure but Kalaforn is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Kalaforn breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Susi incident from his childhood. DestinyToBeMe tries to persuade him to stay but BVR sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Kalaforn decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Susi dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by DestinyToBeMe from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. BVR asks DestinyToBeMe to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly BVR nominates DestinyToBeMe to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does DestinyToBeMe.
30 - When the nomination is announced, DestinyToBeMe graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that BVR is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. BVR takes his £70,000 and runs away to Lesotho. Nobody, including DestinyToBeMe, ever sees him again.
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Kalaforn
3112 viestiä
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#4 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:45
Hehee, kelpaisi katsoa kyllä. 
Hmm, pitäisiköhän minunkin tehdä?
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#5 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:46
Kalaforn kirjoitti:
Hmm, pitäisiköhän minunkin tehdä?
Ei.
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#6 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:47
sadomatti kirjoitti:
Kalaforn kirjoitti:
Hmm, pitäisiköhän minunkin tehdä?
Ei.
Miksi ei?
KAikkien pitää tehä.
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#7 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:50
JM kirjoitti:
KAikkien pitää tehä.
Ei.
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Kalaforn
3112 viestiä
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#8 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:52
sadomatti kirjoitti:
Kalaforn kirjoitti:
Hmm, pitäisiköhän minunkin tehdä?
Ei.
Mutta entä jos teenkin? Jospa en julkaisekaan sitä täällä ja teen siitä oman threadin... 
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Jules Varjola
2537 viestiä
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#9 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:56
Mutta olihan tuo aivan hillitön. Tai sitten minulla ei ole huumorintajua.
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#10 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:57
Kalaforn kirjoitti:
Mutta entä jos teenkin? Jospa en julkaisekaan sitä täällä ja teen siitä oman threadin...
Kumpaa vastaustani lainaat?
Kyllä te saatte tehdä omat jos oikein kilttejä olette. Tiesittekö muuten että 21,8 grammaa alkoholia Gambinassa (€6,75 Alkossa -toim.huom) maksaa yhden euron? Vastaava luku Sorbuksella (€6,53 -toim.huom) on 22,5 grammaa.
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Kalaforn
3112 viestiä
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#11 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 20:59
sadomatti kirjoitti:
Kalaforn kirjoitti:
Mutta entä jos teenkin? Jospa en julkaisekaan sitä täällä ja teen siitä oman threadin...
Kumpaa vastaustani lainaat?
Sitä ylempää, tietenkin.
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Chemical Kim
1675 viestiä
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#12 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 21:01
Voihan nenä sadomatti. Jos sentään jaksaisi joskus katsoa sitä niin ehkä olisi pystynyt helpommin omaksua tätä ah, niin pitkää tarinaa.
hmm.. jospa tekisit mikseripornoa bigbrotherin sijaan?
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#13 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 21:03
sadomatti kirjoitti:
Kyllä te saatte tehdä omat jos oikein kilttejä olette. Tiesittekö muuten että 21,8 grammaa alkoholia Gambinassa (€6,75 Alkossa -toim.huom) maksaa yhden euron? Vastaava luku Sorbuksella (€6,53 -toim.huom) on 22,5 grammaa.
Eikö sorbus maksanu tasan 5e .. ainaki joitain kuukausia sitten makso.
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#14 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 21:08
Chemical Kim kirjoitti:
hmm.. jospa tekisit mikseripornoa bigbrotherin sijaan?
..ja artzi yllättää pahaa aavistamattoman Dewn takaapäin. Sykkivä elin odottaa purkautumista, eikä Dew epäröi hetkeäkään ohjatessaan kivikovan siittimen lemmenkoloonsa. Raivokkaan panon jatkuessa ovi avautuu ja jykevä Wiren tepastelee mitään kysymättä suoraan kolmiota täyttämään..
Näinkö?
(Kaikki tarinan henkilöt ovat fiktiivisiä ja mahdolliset yhteydet olemassa oleviin henkilöihin on silkkaa sattumaa. SM productions irtisanoutuu kaikesta vastuusta mikä suoraan tai epäsuoraan voidaan liittää tarinan aiheuttamiin henkisiin vaurioihin.)
JM kirjoitti:
Eikö sorbus maksanu tasan 5e .. ainaki joitain kuukausia sitten makso.
Kappas vain, ilmoitin teille vahingossa litrahinnan. 0,75nen on tosiaankin femman. Jatkakaa!
sadomatti sorbusteli 21:14 28.07.2005
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Chemical Kim
1675 viestiä
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#15 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 21:17
sadomatti kirjoitti:
(Kaikki tarinan henkilöt ovat fiktiivisiä ja mahdolliset yhteydet olemassa oleviin henkilöihin on silkkaa sattumaa. SM productions irtisanoutuu kaikesta vastuusta mikä suoraan tai epäsuoraan voidaan liittää tarinan aiheuttamiin henkisiin vaurioihin.)
Kyllä jo tämäkin rivipätkä pieksee Big Brotherit mennentullen. Etten sanoisi jopa että ihanasti pieksee.
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Pastori
Henkinen tuki
7422 viestiä
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#16 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 22:30
Hahaa. Meinasin kusta housuihini!
I'm a lazy fat bastard!
Ikävästi herätti vain muistoja lapsuudentraumasta...
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hapou
21350 viestiä
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#17 kirjoitettu
28.07.2005 22:49
Big Brother on sit hyvä jos joku siellä talossa näyttäis naistissin
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#18 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 01:50
BVR kirjoitti:
JM kirjoitti:
25 - BVR becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of BVR's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
Perkule.. mite tuo tietää tuollaiset asiat?
no jaa, kun osuuttasi tähän keskusteluun katsoo..
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#19 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 02:33
BVR kirjoitti:
Mitääääh? Panettelua 
panetteluun minulla ei taida olla varaa, kun katselee myös minun viestimäärää ko. ketjussa.
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JM
18460 viestiä
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#20 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 03:08
BVR kirjoitti:
JM kirjoitti:
BVR kirjoitti:
Mitääääh? Panettelua
panetteluun minulla ei taida olla varaa, kun katselee myös minun viestimäärää ko. ketjussa.
wireniä lainatakseni: "Mikseri Wankers United ry."
Mitäh?? Hyväksytäänkö minutkin mukaan?!
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#21 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 07:45
DestinyToBeMe kirjoitti:
me taidetaan olla ihan hinareita...
Jep. Todellinen seksuaalinen suuntautumisemme on paljastunut Big Brotherin myötä.
I  Tonkku.
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#22 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 07:51
Pastori kirjoitti:
Jep. Todellinen seksuaalinen suuntautumisemme on paljastunut Big Brotherin myötä.
I Tonkku.
Nyt kesämieskuvasi ei enää ihmetytä ollenkaan.
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#23 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 07:53
sadomatti kirjoitti:
Nyt kesämieskuvasi ei enää ihmetytä ollenkaan.
Mitä?! Onko se joskus muka ihmetyttänyt?
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sadomatti
1891 viestiä
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#24 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 07:56
Pastori kirjoitti:
Mitä?! Onko se joskus muka ihmetyttänyt?
Sait minut housut kintuissa (tässä lauseessa ei oikeasti ole mitään pervoa). En ole ihmetellyt, kunhan yritin leikkiä kukkahattutätiä.
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7422 viestiä
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#25 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 09:33
DestinyToBeMe kirjoitti:
Visainen kysymys onkin: Saako Pastorin rakkaus vastakaikua?
Tonkku on mun salarakas. Kyl mä saan vaikkei se sitä myöntäskään.
Oho, mutta nythän se ei oo enää salaista. :O
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Chemical Kim
1675 viestiä
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#26 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 10:57
wiren kirjoitti:
Jotain täytyy keksiä tilalle, artzin kanssa kahdestaan tuosta ei tule yhtään mitään.
Onhan teillä vilkas mielikuvitus, tarvitsetteko edes mitään muuta?
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Chemical Kim
1675 viestiä
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#27 kirjoitettu
29.07.2005 20:28
artzi kirjoitti:
Kyseisessä tilanteessa tuskin olisi apua hyvästäkään mielikuvituksesta. Veli Wiren on toki salskea komia karju, mutta meikäläinen ei ainakaan innostu ilman naaraspuolista vastakappaletta.
Onneksi tämä on spekulaatiota. En toivoisi kellekkään näin ahdistavaa tilannetta
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#28 kirjoitettu
03.08.2005 14:49
C2Y kirjoitti:
aatelkaa c2y jos pääsis suomen big brotheriin...
sais seurata mun sosiaalielämää ja muutakin sekoo...
Harmi et ne on varmaan jo valittu?
No se ois kyl aika kreisiä. Huh!
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Redfox
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#29 kirjoitettu
04.08.2005 20:25
"21 - redfox successfully burps not only the National Anthem of columbia but also God Save The Queen, selkeenä and the theme tune to Big brotha. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him."
Yllättävää...
"Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. redfox takes his £70,000 and runs away to columbia. Nobody, including DTBM, ever sees him again."
Jaahas...
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#30 kirjoitettu
29.08.2008 12:42
Monophobic kirjoitti:
Pastori kirjoitti:
DestinyToBeMe kirjoitti:
Visainen kysymys onkin: Saako Pastorin rakkaus vastakaikua?
Tonkku on mun salarakas. Kyl mä saan vaikkei se sitä myöntäskään.
Oho, mutta nythän se ei oo enää salaista. :O
Juma mikä juoruakka, onneksi tämä on jo niin vanha thread että ei toisaalta enää niin paljoa harmita kun ei muistanut että menit moisen paljastuksen tekemään : )
Nyt kun meillä on kuitenkin jo yhteinen adoptiolapsikin ja kaikkea. Ja parisuhdekin saatiin rekisteröityä.
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