Act I

Fuck!

Well honey,
the good news is that
you did turn the oven off.
But you also forgot the unicorn.

Look at this mess.
I mean, I'm not cleaning this up.
No way.
Do you have any idea what kind of
trouble we'll be in when the activists
hear about this?

The last unicorn
dead on our kitchen floor.
Son of a bitch.
This can't be happening.

Act II

In which the unicorn's body is dragged outside. The cold winter moon turns its proverbial eyes astray; the burial is simple to the point of bleakness.

Act III

What
was that?
Who's there?!

"I have come for revenge!"

FUCK! IT'S
THE UNICORN
THE UNICOOOOOOOOORN
LE-

"SHUT THE FUCK UP OR WE'LL BOTH GET SUED!"

What do you
want, unicorn?

"Your sooo-hohohooouuuul!"

I'm an atheist.
I don't believe in
souls.

"Then I will take
your firstborn
sooo-hohooon!"

Now you're
just being a twat.
You know my
wife and I can't
reproduce.

"Then I will take
your wiii-hihiiiife!"

She
wanted
to
spend
the
night at her parents.
Your death
was very traumatic
on both of us.
Come to think of it.
She just
abandoned me here
alone with my grief.

"...I want to play wiii-hihihiii bowling with youuuuu...!"

Oh, come on
You have no thumbs
Or fingers
for the matter
How will you hold
the controller?

"I am a uuuuniiiicooo-hohooooorn..."

Sure, whatever
But just
one game
I have work tomorrow

Act IV

Where sounds of Wii Bowling can be heard.

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