We said our vows, till death do us part, but I lied
meat maybe murder but life as a vegan is a painfully slow and dreadful suicide
I don't care about heart attacks, cholesterol healthy levels
you only live once so let's have fun, enjoy and revel.

You say if I want it like that, it's heading for a divorce
when I swim in the fat it's too late to show remorse
but I want to lick the grease on my lips and fingertips
my only true love is barbecue ribs.

I'm not a rabbit, I don't want more carrots and figs
I want to eat a big portion of meatballs with spicy and tasty oily chips
what kind of a food you think is shredded green cabbage?
Your vegetarian diet has caused me mental damage.

[Chorus]

from an open window comes in the neighbor's sweet smell
I have been locked all these marital years in this meatless house, carnivore's hell
You can keep your mushrooms, spinach and swede, my darling
my new friend is a sausage roll, I no longer will be starving.

Crispy bacon for breakfast I'll be making
a macrobiotic diet makes me start a riot.
organic taste of manure, a fat steak is the cure
biodynamic disease from the turnips I need a release

You are a kind and good-hearted man, but I'm sorry
I'd rather look like a healthy woman than a prisoner in a purgatory
I wish you good luck, enjoy your beans, I'm out of this gloomy ballad
I've had enough of years of torture with sprouts and salad.

[Chorus]